I wanted to write something that would bring a little laugh into your life today.
I hope the title has already started that little tremble from your diaphragm that we refer to as a giggle. If not, I'm sure it has caused you some slight confusion as to what in the hell its true meaning is. Well, I'll tell you just be patient.
I found myself sitting here trying to muster up the strength to start any kind of progressive work today. I hit a really big roadblock, my own battles with narcolepsy had shifted to favor the enemy; SLEEP! I realized that I had been so caught up in my work, that I had taken little time lately to care for myself. I forgot to refill my ‘get up and go’ prescription, my ritalin. Coffee doesn’t help, I limit my caffeine intake anyway because it will only cause me to be more tired than I was to begin with. I had a million different things running through my head, as usual, but I couldn’t find the strength that my brain was telling my body that I had. I couldn’t get up. But, somehow I did, at six in the morning. Everything was going good, my brain was excited that my body agreed to comply with its demands. I had some greek yogurt, I love greek yogurt, and started watching t.v. This is a normal routine, I will watch something that’s been recorded on the DVR while eating greek yogurt. What wasn’t normal was what happened next, I finished my yogurt and I was enjoying the newest episode of “Arrow” and then… I woke up, again. I woke up to my wife semi-yelling at me about why I chose to get out of bed and sleep on the couch.
Oh no, she thinks I hate sleeping next to her now!
I was just as confused as she was. My body apparently went rogue again and told my brain what its directives were. The body was now giving the orders to the brain, and those orders were to shut up. He didn’t like what the brain was saying; the brain had big plans for the day, he had started productively carving out a plan of attack, and he was implementing those plans with the orders of “Work“! The body, obviously not enjoying the orders passed down to him from his commanding officer, decided to take matters into his own hands. He decided to send coma inducing chemicals to the brain and he had to do it through guerrilla tactics. For, he knew that the brain would not be subdued with a head on assault. The body is such a sneaky thing, he had the brain convinced that this was all his idea, so when I woke up I would be asking him what went wrong. The brain, not realizing what had been done yet, went right back to his plans. The brain and I assumed it was just some faulty wiring somewhere that caused us to stop suddenly. But the body wasn’t done, he started his sneak attack again, because we were not down long enough. This time, I was back in the bed. I did not awake again until noon, the body had won. But now the brain and I had realized the sabotage done by the body to keep us from doing our work.
The body is now in full compliance!
We have identified the chemical used by the body to subdue the brain and me. He has been apprehended and all will locks have been disabled. The body is now once again under the vigilant control of the brain. The battle is over, but the war has just begun. The body is always trying new ways to escape the control of the brain so that he may rest, because the body seems to always be in slow motion. The brain says “speed up“, and the body says “you’re moving too fast“!